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observed, namely, not to talk too well when you do talk. You
do not raise yourself much in the opinion of another, if at
the same time that you amuse him, you wound him in the nicest
point,--his self-love. Besides irritating vanity, a constant
flow of wit is excessively fatiguing to the listeners. A
witty man is an agreeable acquaintance, but a tiresome
friend. "The wit of the company, next to the butt of the
company," says Mrs. Montagu, "is the meanest person in it.
The great duty of conversation is to follow suit, as you do
at whist: if the eldest hand plays the deuce of diamonds, let
not his next neighbour dash down the king of hearts, because
his hand is full of honours. I do not love to see a man of
wit win all the tricks in conversation."
In addressing any one, always look at him; and if there are
several present, you will please more by directing some
portion of your conversation, as an anecdote or statement, to
each one individually in turn. This was the great secret of
Sheridan's charming manner. His bon-mots were not numerous.
Never ask a question under any circumstances. In the first
place it is too proud; in the second place, it may be very
inconvenient or very awkward to give a reply. A lady lately
inquired of what branch of medical practice a certain
gentleman was professor. He held the chair of _midwifery_!
It is indispensable for conversation to be well acquainted
with the current news and the historical events of the last
few years. It is not convenient to be quite so far behind the
rest of the world in such matters, as the Courier des Etats-
Unis. That sapient journal lately announced the dethronement
of Charles X. We may expect soon to hear of the accession of
Louis Philippe.
In society never quote. If you get entangled in a dispute
with some learned blockhead, you may silence him with a few
extemporary quotations. Select the author for whom he has the
greatest admiration, and give him a passage in the style of
that writer, which most pointedly condemns the opinion he
supports. If it does not convince him, he will be so much
stunned with amazement that you can make your escape, and
avoid the unpleasant necessity of knocking him down.
The ordinary weapons which one employs in social encounter,
are, whether dignified or not, always at least honourable.
There are some, however, who habitually prefer to bribe the
judge, rather than strengthen their cause. The instrument of
such is flattery. There are, indeed, cases in which a man of
honour may use the same weapon; as there are cases in which a
poisoned sword may be employed for self-defence.
Flattery prevails over all, always, and in all places; it
conquers the conqueror of Dan"e: few are beneath it, none
above it: the court, the camp, the church, are the scenes of
its victories, and all mankind the subjects of its triumphs.
It will be acknowledged, then, that a man possesses no very
contemptible power who can flatter skillfully.
The power of flattery may be derived from several sources. It
may be, that the person flattered, finding himself gratified,
and conscious that it is to the flatterer that he is indebted
for this gratification, feels an obligation to him, without
inquiring the reason; or it may be, that imagining ourselves
to stand high in the good opinion of the one that praises us,
We comply with what he desires, rather than forfeit that
esteem: or, finally, flattery may be only a marked
politeness, and we submit ourselves to the control of the
flatterer rather than be guilty of the rudeness of opposing
him.
Flattery never should be direct. It should not be stated, but
inferred. It is better acted than uttered. Flattery should
seem to be the unwitting and even unwilling expression of
genuine admiration. Some very weak persons do not require
that expressions of praise and esteem toward them should be
sincere. They are pleased with the incense, although they
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