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best society of his country, and it becomes therefore a
matter of importance to ascertain what qualifications are
demanded for admittance.
A writer who is popularly unpopular, has remarked, that the
test of standing in Boston, is literary eminence; in New
York, wealth; and in Philadelphia, purity of blood.
To this remark, we can only oppose our opinion, that none of
these are indispensable, and none of them sufficient. The
society of this country, unlike that of England, does not
court literary talent. We have cases in our recollection,
which prove the remark, in relation to the highest ranks,
even of Boston. Wealth has no pretensions to be the standard
anywhere. In New York, the Liverpool of America, although the
rich may make greater display and _bruit,_ yet all of the
merely rich, will find that there does exist a small and
unchanging circle, whether above or below them, 'it is not
ours to say,' yet completely apart from them, into which they
would rejoice to find entrance, and from which they would be
glad to receive emigrants.
Whatever may be the accomplishments necessary to render one
capable of reaching the highest platform of social eminence,
and it is not easy to define clearly what they are, there is
one thing, and one alone, which will enable any man to
_retain_ his station there; and that is, GOOD BREEDING.
Without it, we believe that literature, wealth, and even
blood, will be unsuccessful. By it, if it co-exist with a
certain capacity of affording pleasure by conversation, any
one, we imagine, could frequent the very best society in
every city of America, and _perhaps the very best alone._ To
obtain, then, the manners of a gentleman is a matter of no
small importance.
We do not pretend that a man will be metamorphosed into a
gentleman by reading this book, or any other book. Refined
manners are like refined style which Cicero compares to the
colour of the cheeks, which is not acquired by sudden or
violent exposure to heat, but by continual walking in the
sun. Good manners can certainly only be acquired by much
usage in good company. But there are a number of little
forms, imperiously enacted by custom, which may be taught in
this manner, and the conscious ignorance of which often
prevents persons from going into company at all.
These forms may be abundantly absurd, but still they _must_
be attended to; for one half the world does and always will
observe them, and the other half is at a great disadvantage
if it does not. Intercourse is constantly taking place, and
an awkward man of letters, in the society of a polished man
of the world, is like a strong man contending with a skilful
fencer. Mr. Addison says, that he once saw the ablest
mathematician in the kingdom utterly embarrassed, from not
knowing whether he ought to stand or sit when my lord duke
drank his health.
Some of the many errors which are liable to be committed
through ignorance of usage, are pleasantly pointed out in the
following story, which is related by a French writer.
The Abb, Cosson, professor in the _College Mazarin,_
thoroughly accomplished in the art of teaching, saturated
with Greek, Latin, and literature, considered himself a
perfect well of science: he had no conception that a man who
knew all Persius and Horace by heart could possibly commit an
error--above all, an error at table. But it was not long
before he discovered his mistake. One day, after dining with
the Abb, de Radonvillers at Versailles, in company with
several courtiers and marshals of France, he was boasting of
the rare acquaintance with etiquette and custom which he had
exhibited at dinner. The Abb, Delille, who heard this eulogy
upon his own conduct, interrupted his harangue, by offering
to wager that he had committed at least a hundred
improprieties at the table. "How is it possible!" exclaimed
Cosson. "I did exactly like the rest of the company."
"What absurdity!" said the other. "You did a thousand things
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