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reached the conclusion, one cannot perhaps distinguish the
object of one's search at a _coup d'oeil._ It would be in
every point of view more appropriate if the lady were to
stand directly opposite to the door of the back parlour. Such
is the custom in the best companies abroad. Upon a single
gentleman entering at a late hour, it is not so obligatory to
speak first to the mistress of the ceremonies. He may be
allowed to converge his way up to her. When you leave a room
before the others, go without speaking to any one, and, if
possible, unseen.
Never permit the sanctity of the drawing-room to be violated
by a boot.
Fashionable society is divided into _sets,_ in all of which
there is some peculiarity of manner, or some dominant tone of
feeling. It is necessary to study these peculiarities before
entering the circle.
In each of these sets there is generally some _gentleman,_
who rules, and gives it its character, or, rather, who is not
ruler, but the first and most favoured subject, and the prime
minister of the ladies' will. Him you must endeavour to
imitate, taking care not to imitate him so well as to excel
him. To differ in manner or opinion from him is to render
yourself unfit for that circle. To speak disrespectfully of
him is to insult personally every lady who composes it.
In company, though none are "free," yet all are "equal." All
therefore whom you meet, should be treated with equal
respect, although interest may dictate toward each different
degrees of attention. It is disrespectful to the inviter to
shun any of her guests. Those whom she has honoured by asking
to her house, you should sanction by admitting to your
acquaintance.
If you meet any one whom you have never heard of before at
the table of a gentleman, or in the drawing-room of a lady,
you may converse with him with entire propriety. The form of
"introduction" is nothing more than a statement by a mutual
friend that two gentlemen are by rank and manners fit
acquaintances for one another. All this may be presumed from
the fact, that both meet at a respectable house. This is the
theory of the matter. Custom, however, requires that you
should take the earliest opportunity afterwards to be
regularly presented to such an one.
Men of all sorts of occupations meet in society. As they go
there to unbend their minds and escape from the fetters of
business, you should never, in an evening, speak to a man
about his professions. Do not talk of politics with a
journalist, of fevers to a physician, of stocks to a broker,-
-nor, unless you wish to enrage him to the utmost, of
education to a collegian. The error which is here condemned
is often committed from mere good nature and a desire to be
affable. But it betrays to a gentleman, ignorance of the
world--to a philosopher, ignorance of human nature. The one
considers that "Tous les hommes sont ,gaux devant la
politesse:" the other remembers that though it may be
agreeable to be patronised and assisted, yet it is still more
agreeable to be treated as if you needed no patronage, and
were above assistance.
Sir Joshua Reynolds once received from two noblemen
invitations to visit them on Sunday morning. The first, whom
he waited upon, welcomed him with the most obsequious
condescension, treated him with all the attention in the
world, professed that he was so desirous of seeing him, that
he had mentioned Sunday as the time for his visit, supposing
him to be too much engaged during the week, to spare time
enough for the purpose, concluded his compliments by an
eulogy on painting, and smiled him affectionately to the
door. Sir Joshua left him, to call upon the other. That one
received him with respectful civility, and behaved to him as
he would have behaved to an equal in the peerage:--said
nothing about Raphael nor Correggio, but conversed with ease
about literature and men. This nobleman was the Earl of
Chesterfield. Sir Joshua felt, that though the one had said
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