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wishing to expiate a sin or put an end to some suffering, she gave
herself up into the hands of God, and he, accepting her sacrifice,
permitted her thus, in union with the merits of his passion, to expiate
the sin by suffering some illness corresponding to it. She had
consequently to bear, not only her own maladies, but those also of
others--to suffer in expiation of the sins of her brethren, and of the
faults and negligences of certain portions of the Christian
community--and, finally, to endure many and various sufferings in
satisfaction for the souls of purgatory. All these sufferings appeared
like real illnesses, which took the most opposite and variable forms,
and she was placed entirely under the care of the doctor, who
endeavoured by earthly remedies to cure illnesses which in reality were
the very sources of her life. She said on this subject--'Repose in suffering
has always appeared to me the most desirable condition possible. The
angels themselves would envy us, were envy not an imperfection. But for
sufferings to bear really meritorious we must patiently and gratefully
accept unsuitable remedies and comforts, and all other additional
trials. I did not myself fully understand my state, nor know what it
was to lead to. In my soul I accepted my different sufferings, but in
my body it was my duty to strive against them. I had given myself
wholly and entirely to my Heavenly Spouse, and his holy will was being
accomplished in me; but I was living on earth, where I was not to rebel
against earthly wisdom and earthly prescriptions. Even had I fully
comprehended my state, and had both time and power to explain it, there
was no one near who would have been able to understand me. A doctor
would simply have concluded that I was entirely mad, and would have
increased his expensive and painful remedies tenfold. I have suffered
much in this way during the whole of my life, and particularly when I
was at the convent, from having unsuitable remedies administered to me.
Often, when my doctors and nurses had reduced me to the last agony, and
that I was near death, God took pity on me, and sent me some
supernatural assistance, which effected an entire cure.'
Four years before the suppression of her convent she went to Flamske
for two days to visit her parents. Whilst there she went once to kneel
and pray for some hours before the miraculous Cross of the Church of
St. Lambert, at Coesfeld. She besought the Almighty to bestow the gifts
of peace and unity upon her convent, offered him the Passion of Jesus
Christ for that intention, and implored him to allow her to feel a
portion of the sufferings which were endured by her Divine Spouse on
the Cross. From the time that she made this prayer her hands and feet
became burning and painful, and she suffered constantly from fever,
which she believed was the cause of the pain in her hands and feet, for
she did not dare to think that her prayer had been granted. Often she
was unable to walk, and the pain in her hands prevented her from
working as usual in the garden. On the 3rd December 1811, the convent
was suppressed, and the church closed. (Under the Government of Jerome
Bonaparte, King of Westphalia.) The nuns dispersed in all directions,
but Anne Catherine remained, poor and ill. A kindhearted servant
belonging to the monastery attended upon her out of charity, and an
aged emigrant priest, who said Mass in the convent, remained also with
her. These three individuals, being the poorest of the Community, did
not leave the convent until the spring of 1812. She was still very
unwell, and could not be moved without great difficulty. The priest
lodged with a poor widow who lived in the neighbourhood, and Anne
Catherine had in the same house a wretched little room on the
ground-floor, which looked on the street. There she lived, in poverty
and sickness, until the autumn of 1813. Her ecstasies in prayer, and
her spiritual intercourse with the invisible world, became more and
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