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followed it. She could see nothing outwardly, but was not astonished at
what I told her, because she knew that I was sometimes in an
extraordinary state, without her being able to understand the cause.
The next day my forehead and temples were very much swelled, and I
suffered terribly. This pain and swelling often returned, and sometimes
lasted whole days and nights. I did not remark that there was blood on
my head until my companions told me I had better put on a clean cap,
because mine was covered with red spots. I let them think whatever they
liked about it, only taking care to arrange my head dress so as to hide
the blood which flowed from my head, and I continued to observe the
same precaution even after I entered the convent, where only one person
perceived the blood, and she never betrayed my secret.'
Several other contemplative persons, especially devoted to the
passion of our Lord, have been admitted to the privilege of suffering
the torture inflicted by the crown of thorns, after having seen a
vision in which the two crowns were offered them to choose between, for
instance, among others, St. Catherine of Sienna, and Pasithea of
Crogis, a Poor Clare of the same town, who died in 1617.
The writer of these pages may here be allowed to remark that he
himself has, in full daylight, several times seen blood flow down the
forehead and face, and even beyond the linen wrapped round the neck of
Anne Catherine. Her desire to embrace a religious life was at length
gratified. The parents of a young person whom the Augustinian nuns of
Dulmen wished to receive into their order, declared that they would not
give their consent except on condition that Anne Catherine was taken at
the same time. The nuns yielded their assent, though somewhat
reluctantly, on account of their extreme poverty; and on the 13th
November 1802, one week before the feast of the Presentation of the
Blessed Virgin, Anne Catherine entered on her novitiate. At the present
day vocations are not so severely tested as formerly; but in her case,
Providence imposed special trials, for which, rigorous as they were,
she felt she never could be too grateful. Sufferings or privations,
which a soul, either alone or in union with others, imposes upon
herself, for God's greater glory, are easy to bear; but there is one
cross more nearly resembling the cross of Christ than any other, and
that is, lovingly and patiently to submit to unjust punishment,
rebuffs, or accusations. It was the will of God that during her year's
novitiate she should, independently of the will of any creature, be
tried as severely as the most strict mistress of novices could have
done before any mitigations had been allowed in the rules. She learned
to regard her companions as instruments in the hands of God for her
sanctification; and at a later period of her life many other things
appeared to her in the same light. But as it was necessary that her
fervent soul should be constantly tried in the school of the Cross, God
was pleased that she should remain in it all her life.
In many ways her position in the convent was excessively painful.
Not one of her companions, nor even any priest or doctor, could
understand her case. She had learned, when living among poor peasants,
to hide the wonderful gifts which God had bestowed on her; but the case
was altered now that she was in familiar intercourse with a large
number of nuns, who, though certainly good and pious, were filled with
ever-increasing feelings of curiosity, and even of spiritual jealousy
in her regard. Then, the contracted ideas of the community, and the
complete ignorance of the nuns concerning all those exterior phenomena
by which the interior life manifests itself, gave her much to endure,
the more so, as these phenomena displayed themselves in the most
unusual and astonishing manner. She heard everything that was said
against her, even when the speakers were at on end of the convent and
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