N.C.O. at the end of the quay." His intonation was a model for the Staff College.

"Curse the thing! I knew I should be nabbed for duty," I heard the veteran growl as he strode off with the white card...

I met the young man later at the Hotel ----, where he had had the foresight to wire for a room. As I had failed to do this, I was glad to avail myself of his kind offer to share his accommodation. After such hospitality I could not refuse him a lift in my car, as we were both bound for the same part of the country.

I did not learn until afterwards that a preliminary chat with my chauffeur had preceded his hospitable advances. Whenever anybody tells me that our subalterns of to-day lack _savoir faire_ or that they are deficient in tactical initiative, I tell him that he lies.

* * * * *

"A Bachelor, 38, wishes meet Protestant, born 4th Sept., 1899, or 17th, 18th Sept., 1886, plain looks; poverty no barrier; view matrimony."--_The Age (Melbourne)_.

For so broad-minded a man he seems curiously fastidious about dates.

* * * * *

HUMOURS OF THE WAR OFFICE.

THE EXCHANGE.

Captain A. and Captain B., The one was in F, the other in E, The one was rheumatic and shrank from wet feet, The other had sunstroke and dreaded the heat.

"If we could exchange," wrote B. to A., "We should both keep fitter (the doctors say)," And, A. agreeing, they humbly prayed The great War Office to lend its aid.

In less than a month they got replies, A letter to each of the self-same size; A.'s was: "Yes, you'll exchange with B."; B.'s was: "No, you'll remain in E."

* * * * *

OUR MODEST PUBLICISTS.

"I felt it to be my duty to say that and I said it; and, of course, nobody took any notice."--_Mr. Robert Blatchford, in "The Sunday Chronicle."_

* * * * *

"CHRISTIANA, Thursday.

Several hours' violent cannonading was heard in the Skagerack.

Norwegian torpedoes proceeded thither to investigate."--_Toowoomba Chronicle_ (_Queensland_).

Intelligent creatures, they poke their noses into everything.

* * * * *

BEASTS ROYAL.

VI.

KING GEORGE'S DALMATIAN. A.D. 1823.

Yellow wheels and red wheels, and wheels that squeak and roar, Big buttons, brown wigs, and many capes of buff ... Someone's bound for Sussex, in a coach-and-four; And, when the long whips crack, Running at the back Barks the swift Dalmatian, whose spots are seven-score.

White dust and grey dust, fleeting tree and tower, Brass horns and copper horns, blowing loud and bluff ... Someone's bound for Sussex, at eleven miles an hour; And, when the long horns blow, From the wheels below Barks the swift Dalmatian, tongued like an apple-flower.

Big domes and little domes, donkey-carts that jog, High stocks and low pumps and admirable snuff ... Someone strolls at Brighton, not very much incog.; And, panting on the grass, In his collar bossed with brass, Lies the swift Dalmatian, the KING's plum-pudding dog.

* * * * *

CAMOUFLAGE CONVERSATION.

It came as a shock to the Brigade Major that the brigade on his left had omitted to let him know the time of their projected raid that night. It came as a shock all the more because it was the General himself who first noticed the omission, and it is a golden rule for Brigade Majors that they should always be the first to think of things.

"Ring 'em up and ask," said the General. "Don't, of course, mention the word 'raid' on the telephone. Call it--um--ah, oh, call it anything you like so long as they understand what you mean."

At times, to the casual eavesdropper, strange things must appear to be going on in the British lines. It must be a matter of surprise, to