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Drummers and percussionists are the butt of countless jokes, often impugning their musicianship and/or their intelligence. These are naturally unfair generalisations but are enjoyed by many drummers and non-drummers alike. In some countries the instrumentalist in question is not the drummer but bass player.
Examples of this include:
- What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer?
You only have to punch the information into the drum machine once!
- What do you call someone who hangs around musicians?
A drummer.
- How many musicians does it take to make a jazz quartet?
Three, plus a drummer.
- Drummers have the rhythm in their blood. Bass players usually have only alcohol in their blood.
- A drummer walks into a shop and asks for a set of guitar strings. The guy behind the counter says "you're a drummer, aren't you?". The drummer says "Yes I am, how did you know?". The guy behind the counter says "because this is a damn newsagent!".
- How can you tell a drummer's on the doorstep?
The knocking speeds up, and he doesn't know when to come in.
- How do you get him off the doorstep?
Pay for the pizza.
- What do 7-11 coffee and Ginger Baker have in common?
They both suck without Cream.
- How do you know when the stage is level?
When drool comes out of both sides of the drummer's mouth.
- A safari tour was going though the jungles of Africa. Once into the interior, the tourists heard drumming in the distance. The tour guide, a native, turned around and said "Drums play, good. Drums stop, bad." The tourists, who don't understand this ominous sign, continue on their journey. Ten minutes later, the guide once again turns around and says, "Drums play, good. Drums stop, very bad" The group continues on its way, when finally the guide turns around for a third time. "Drums play," he says, "good. Drums stop, very very bad. Drums stop, bass solo."
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