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Larry Groznic is a recurring fictional columnist for the parody newspaper The Onion who writes indignantly about perceived crimes against his dweebish subcultural fandom obsessions. These include comic books, science fiction and fantasy television shows and movies, computers and the Internet. He is highly reminiscent of The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy.
In typical Onion fashion, Groznic's columns are chockful of detailed and accurate minutiae.
For example, in the November 10, 2004 issue of The Onion, Groznic wrote about Wikipedia in "I Must Take Issue With The Wikipedia Entry For 'Weird Al' Yankovic":
- You most likely recognize my username, misterhand43. If you do not, you at the least recall my flame war with SoulblighterEric—I speak, of course, of the altercation which led to my ignoble suspension as a Wikipedia editor. As penance for my immaturity on the Admiral Akbar talk-page thread last March, I have held my tongue for eight months now.
- I did not point out the whole-cloth omission of Ralph Snart and his creator Marc Hansen, though it's a gross understatement to say the absence left me incredulous. I did not refer to the woeful lack of an article on the subject of popular Farscape actress Virginia Hey, nor did I send out a strongly worded e-mail about the merely passing mention of Buffy the Vampire Slayer novelizations, even though two were written by Richie Tankersley Cusick, and anyone who has read his adaptation of "The Harvest" would agree that its inclusion on any list on the subject is critical. (And anyone who has not read this fine book has no business writing an overview of the show, but I digress.)
He goes on to criticize the "Weird Al" Yankovic entry for various omissions, which were added within hours to the entry after the Onion column appeared.
Groznic opinion columns include (with volume:issue):
- "I'll Thank You Not To Call My Collection Of Sequential-Art Erotica 'Dirty Comics'"
- "Dressing Up Your Dog As Boba Fett Is Something You Have To Devote A Weekend To" (36:24)
- "Maybe I Can Impress Her With My Holy Grail Quotes" (36:36)
- "When You Are Ready To Have A Serious Conversation About Green Lantern, You Have My E-Mail Address" (38:05)
- "I Regret To Say Your Wedding Falls Square In The Middle Of The Prisoner Marathon" (38:33, September 11, 2002)
- "I Appreciate The Muppets On A Much Deeper Level Than You" (39:02)
- "Don't Come Crying To Me When You Need Someone Who Speaks Elvish" (39:13)
- "I Must Take Issue With The Wikipedia Entry For 'Weird Al' Yankovic" (40:45, November 10, 2004)
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