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This list of BDSM terms defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.
BDSM activities are described as play in BDSM terminology.
The BDSM term is a portmanteau acronym intended to take in all of the following activities:
Some BDSM terminology:
- Abrasion: Using something rough (such as sandpaper).
- Age play: Usually referring to Daddy/daughter or Mommy/baby role play.
- Anal torture: The BDSM practice of inflicting pain on the anus.
- Animal Play: The sub acts or dresses like an animal (puppy, pony, cow, etc.).
- Auctioned off: Dom/me auctions off the Slave to the highest bidder (usually supervised and for temporary use).
- BDSM: Bondage/Discipline/Sadism/Masochism
- Bottom: submissive or one who gives up control.
- Breath Control: The Dom controls the sub's breathing .
- Butt plug: Much like a dildo, only shaped slightly differently. They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate
- CBT: Cock and ball torture
- Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned (usually in a loving intimate relationship)
- Collaring: Ceremony when a Dom commits to a sub (much like a wedding)
- Contract: A written-out agreement between the Dom/me & sub. It can be either formal or loving, and is usually written by the Dom/me outlining what is expected of the sub. It is NOT legally binding but should be taken seriously.
- DM: Dungeon Monitor, a person who volunteers to supervise the interactions between participants at a Play Party to ensure their safety.
- Dom: Man who takes control (from Dominant)
- Dominant (dom/domme) (also dominatrix)
- Domme: Female who takes control (contraction of dominatrix)
- D/s: Domination/submission
- Dungeon: Usually referring to a room or area with BDSM equipment and play space
- Edgeplay: SM play involving blood, permanent marking and risk to life
- Fetish: A specific obsession or delight in one object
- Fire play
- Golden showers: Piss play
- Handkerchief codes: visible signs to indicate to others your area of BDSM interest
- Hard limits: What someone will not do, usually can't be pushed
- Harem: A group of subs serving one or more Dom/mes
- Infantilism: Parent/child or parent/baby role playing
- Knife play
- Limits: What someone "won't" do or is hesitant to do
- Masochism: Act of taking pain (enjoying it usually)
- Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, usually sexually
- Munch: A group of people that are into BDSM meeting at a vanilla place. Sometimes this is a club. You might see an announcement like, "This weekend's munch is at Denny's"
- Needle play
- OTK: Over the knee (spanking).
- Painslut: A person who enjoys pain but doesn't necessarily enjoy submitting.
- Paraphilia
- Play Party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in Scenes.
- ProDom: Male professional Dominant (charges money)
- ProDomme: Female professional Dominant (charges money)
- Ponygirl or Ponyboy: Sub is dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug for a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
- Play piercing
- Puppy Play :Sub is made to act like a puppy. Sub barks, whines, eats from a bowl, etc.
- RACK - Risk Aware Consensual Kink
- Rape fantasy
- Sadism: The act of inflicting pain
- Sadist: Person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually
- Safe, Sane and Consensual - SSC
- Safeword - When a participant utters a safeword, BDSM activity stops.
- Scat play: Shit play
- Scene: A time period of BDSM activities
- Session: A time period of BDSM activities with a ProDom/me
- Slave: Person who gives up control, usually completely and with very few limits. Slaves are usually masochists who mainly participate in extreme BDSM as a lifestyle (this isn't necessarily the rule; there are many exceptions and variations).
- Slave Position: Also called The Pleasure Position. Sub is kneeling, legs spread, head down and hands on thighs, with palms up
- Soft Limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity.
- submissive, or "sub" / "subbie" for short. Person that gives up control either all the time or only during a scene
- Subspace: A "natural high" that a sub gets during a scene or when being controlled.
- switch: Someone who likes being both Dominant and submissive. either in one scene or on different occasions
- Top: Dominant person either all the time or only during a scene
- Training: Either referring to a short period of time (a scene) or an ongoing effort of the Dom/me teaching the sub how to act. Can either be a playful thing or a serious thing, depending on the couple.
- Vanilla: Someone who isn't in the lifestyle. Alternatively, sexual behaviour which doesn't encompass BDSM activity. The term is sometimes used in a derogatory sense.
- Wax play: The Dom/me drips hot wax on the sub.
Note that some people in the BDSM community begin dominant terms with an upper case, for example: Top, Master, Dom, Domme, etc, as well as to begin submissive terms with a lower case, even where normally incorrect, chiefly in acronyms and abbreviations, such as D/s for Dom/sub.
In addition, high protocol refers to groups that adhere to strict roles and role-based rules of conduct, whereas low protocol refers to groups that are more relaxed. Old Guard refers to high protocol groups, particularly gay leather BDSM groups.
See also:
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