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In the animated series The Simpsons, Moe Szyslak (pronounced SIZZ-lack, or using Polish sounds, SHIZ-lock) (voiced by Hank Azaria) is the proprietor of Moe's Tavern, ("Where Nobody Knows Your Name"), the regular drinking hole of Homer Simpson, Barney Gumble, Lenny, Carl and others.
An Italian immigrant, Moe's real name is either "Moamar" or "Morris". However in season 15 he says he is Dutch. His last name, Szyslak, suggests Polish roots. Regardless, his foreign past is a source of much embarrassment and he does his best to conceal it publically.
He claims to be one of the original Little Rascals, and later became a boxer before establishing Moe's. He was also abandoned by his parents at a camp that Homer attended as a boy of ten. This raises some dispute as to his age--is he in his late thirties to early forties like Homer Simpson or around eighty, like Charles Montgomery Burns?
Moe's Tavern is located on a street corner, neighbouring King Toot's Music Store. Across the street was a factory formerly owned by Bart Simpson, until it collapsed. The inside of the bar has a few pool tables and a dartboard. It is very dank and "smells like tinkle". A small stage stands at one end; Aerosmith, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Be Sharps and Krusty the Clown (during his "rebel comic" phase) have all performed there. Because female customers are so rare, Moe frequently uses the women's restroom as an office. (Moe claimed that there haven't been any ladies at Moe's since 1979.) A jar of pickled eggs perpetually stands on the bar. Moe's was briefly converted into a family restaurant called Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag. Moe also once revamped his tavern for yuppie hipsters, renaming the bar "M."
Moe's Tavern is probably not the birthplace of the Rob Roy, despite what Moe claims. Despite having a degree in bartending, Moe is horrible at mixing drinks, and Duff Beer is pretty much the only thing he serves. The only other notable drink that he mixes is the Flaming Moe (originally called the Flaming Homer, a drink in which Moe stole the recipe from Homer without acknowledging it). He once pointed out that the liquor bottles that appeared to be behind the bar were actually painted on the wall. Moe's Tavern has a Rhode Island liquor licence which expired in 1973 and was signed by Moe himself. In "Who Shot Mr. Burns", Moe's Tavern was forced to close down because Mr.Burns slant-drilling operation near the tavern caused pollution that was unsafe.
Moe is typically single although he had a girlfriend once for a short time ("Renee", voiced by Helen Hunt - Season 9, Ep.5F12), as well as a girlfriend in the short "The Love-matic Grampa". Moe is said to be quite physically unattractive, which may partially account for his perpetual loneliness. He he also has a rather chronically bad sense of judgement in dealing with females, and while participating in a bachelor's auction he said his favorite quality in a woman was one who would "take their clothes off for money." Because of his loneliness, Moe is often depressed and suicidal.
In one episode, he had a panda-smuggling ring on the side; in another, a killer-whale smuggling ring. His claim to fame was the "Flaming Moe", a lit specialty drink whose secret ingredient is Krusty the Klown brand cough syrup. It stood to make him a fortune until Homer, the true inventor of the drink, exposed the secret ingredient allowing several competitor knockoff drinks to spawn.
Moe is frequently the victim of prank telephone calls from Bart Simpson, often followed by a violent threat of vengeance from Moe. Bart's calls to Moe have asked for:
- Maya Buttreeks
- Anita Bath (Both this and Maya Buttreeks were used by Bart as fictious childrens names when Moe was applying as a Substitute for Bart's Class in "The PTA Disbands")
- Al Coholic
- I.P. Freely
- Oliver Clothesoff
- Olly Tabooger (backfired; Homer was running the bar at the time and didn't understand the joke)
- Jacques Strap
- Seymour Butts
- Homer Sexual
- Mike Rotch
- Bea O'Problem
- Amanda Huggenkiss
- Hugh Jass (backfired; there was a Hugh Jass present)
- Ivana Tinkle
- Heywood U. Cuddleme (This prank call was done on a telegraph, as the Simpsons were living in a house from 1895 when Bart did this one)
- I'm a stupid moron, with an ugly face, and a big butt, and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt. (When Bart had a Twilight Zone-esque power to transform people, in a Halloween episode.)
Homer once called and asked for "Eura Snotball", the gag intentionally backfiring so Homer can threaten Moe.
Mr. Burns once tried to call Smithers when he was on vacation and typed in SMITHERS on his "telephone machine". Asking for Waylon Smithers, Moe presumed it was a prank and threatened him.
Customers
Single, an alcoholic (after being introduced to beer by Homer Simpson as a teenager), and living in a incredibly messy apartment near the state penitentary, Barney arguably remains Homer's best friend. His desperation for alcohol has been the source of many jokes. He remains friendly and good-natured despite his unfortunate condition. In early episodes, he appears to be a parody of Barney Rubble -- similar appearance, hair color, clothing color, just much larger in size. Barney has demonstrated considerable talents as a singer, filmmaker, astronaut, orator, painter, helicopter pilot, and snow plow driver, but keeps getting foiled by his various addictions. Once he even drank a can of turpentine!
In "Days of Wine and D'ohses", Barney finally kicked the alcoholism and transferred his addiction to espresso, which led to the disappearance of his trademark belch. Happily, he had a relapse in "I'm Spelling as Fast as I Can" and was back on the sauce in "My Big Fat Geek Wedding" (in a scene that was a parody of Jimmy Stewart's Harvey). By the end of season 15 he was back in all his fat, lovable, belching glory.
Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo has the worst name Moe ever heard, and is a friend to Barney and a patron of Moe's Tavern. Homer once inadvertently offended him while trying to make up a fake name.
Lenny, Carl, and occasionally Charlie, Homer's colleagues at the nuclear plant, also frequent Moe's.
Having sold the nuclear plant, Mr. Burns and Smithers stopped in for a drink before being kicked out.
Barflies named Sam and Larry, the owner of King Toots, all the characters in the show voiced by Jon Lovitz drinking at once (a good sight gag), a man with glasses that are out of focus, an unnamed person who has a cowlick & easily passes out, Guy Incognito (a Homer lookalike with a mustache), a homosexual man who was under the impression that it was a gay bar, & a woman from Seasons 2-4 have appeared. As animation goes, though, they were mostly pushed out of the show. Now Moe's usually has Barney, Homer, Lenny, Carl, & people with problems (i.e. Apu's romantic gifts, cold feet at the altar, etc.).
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