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The Water Pistols was a spoof British punk rock band which recorded one 7” single in 1976.
Both songs are based on the satirical notion that all punk bands are talentless and juvenile.
The A side, "Gimme That Punk Junk" is loosely based on "I'm a Loser" by The Beatles. It begins, "I can handle the blues, the reggae and funk...I'm totally bewildered by this rotten punk junk". It also includes the lyrics: "I'm a boozer/I'm a cruiser/Anarchist/Anarchist/An' I kissed/A couple of local girls", and "I've learnt two chords an' I sing out of tune/If punk rock lasts I will make a fortune".
The B side, "Soft Punk", begins: "One...two...cut your head off!" and contains frequent references to the punk singer Dick Capitate's desire to do so. The song ends with a spoof news report confirming that he has cut off his head at the Rutland Open Air Punk Festival, in front of an audience of lemmings and his immediate relatives.
The Water Pistols seems to have been either a group of session musicians or a real band recording under a spoof name, but their real identity has not been revealed. The band's name is a blatantly obvious take on The Sex Pistols.
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